There is good news and some negative news when someone is looking to begin saving a marriage after infidelity.
Is that no matter how screwed up the relationship is it can be fixed, if you want it bad enough.
If there has been forgiveness during affair recovery and both husband and wife are committed totally to doing whatever it requires to make it work, then after an affair things can get better.
Both parties have to understand and accept that it will take time and work, and that they need to be fully mature in confessing to some of their own drawbacks.
As you read on keep in the back of your mind that the Course in Miracles teaches, “Healing is a sign that you want to make whole. And this willingness opens your ears to the Voice of the Holy Spirit, Whose message is wholeness.”
If you are both at that place and you truly want affair recovery to be positive you have an outstanding possibility of working things out.
Are Overwhelming Issues in the Way?
The problem is with saving a marriage after infidelity that if the issues are too overwhelming and/or both of you are not willing to do the work and discover healing options, the chances of repairing a relationship after infidelity go way down.
– It is not impossible at this point, but it will be so much harder.
Step one would be to truthfully evaluate where you and your partner are from time to time and where exactly you might be headed.
If both of you are right-minded and mature enough to face up to the concerns and stick with it long enough, do some severe soul-searching and determine.
You will need to greatly consider ‘should you seek help and healing through perhaps marital therapy or some sort of relationship counseling.’
If so, – Go on to the next step.
If not, ask yourself why you wish to saving a marriage after infidelity. Often there are times where there is no hope to even begin fixing a broken relationship.
It can be extremely simple to fall under the trap of becoming a door mat if you aim to start building trust after infidelity without the help of your spouse.
I mean that if the spouse feels that the hurt is so terribly tough to handle, they will not work with you to begin affair recovery.
It is almost a certainty that they might likewise aim to sabotage all the hard work you are attempting to do for rebuilding trust after infidelity.
What are the Problems?
In a prior discussion I explored infidelity in marriage and surviving an affair: Is leaving a relationship the answer, or should you stay?
The next step would be to figure out what other problems and issues the both of you are dealing with, and exactly what action steps to take to even begin saving a marriage after infidelity.
– Do both of you simply seem to have wandered way too far apart?
– Do you now have kids and find it more difficult to actually connect with each other?
When you recognize what the issues you are having truly are then you have a far better chance of handling them effectively and staying married after infidelity.
– Do not let life and all its stress and anxiety try to come in between you.
This is normally not the real problem most of the times, anyway, and it works well as an excuse for bad habits.
– Determine the genuine problems then collaborate on help for how to survive infidelity.
Often discovering someone to aid in the healing, and instruct and guide you, helping you sort all of it out, can be a miracle.
Finding a Marital Therapist or Counselor can Help.
If nothing else, a therapist can function as a sort of referee so the two of you do not get too upset and begin arguing out of control and saying things you may regret later.
– If the battling continues, – Nothing will ever get worked out.
– You can not fix anything up until you figure out exactly what is broken.
There is no difference between a broken relationship and a worn out transmission on your automobile, to where I mean, if you do not identify what the problem is, you can’t repair and rebuild your relationship after cheating.
Sometimes there is not enough willingness and readiness for rebuilding trust after infidelity to lend sufficient reason to save a relationship.
If you do not diagnose exactly what the problem is, you can’t even begin saving a marriage after infidelity.
(I also suggest searching the web for further helpful content on the idea of getting back with your ex and sure ways to rekindle a relationship, if you are feeling that in your heart.)