Dating After Divorce – What to Do With Your Children’s Reactions to Your Dating After a Divorce

Dating after a divorce is a big decision. You’ve got to be ready to put yourself out there and risk being hurt again. But this is a big decision not only for you, but possibly even more so for your children. The reactions you’ll receive from your kids once you decide to date again, can be as varied as the kids themselves. There are many reasons for this. Some of these include:

  • How involved their other biological parent is in their life
  • How much conflict there is between you and your ex-spouse
  • The sex of your child
  • Their age
  • How you’ve reacted to being divorced
  • How long ago the divorce happened

While each of these factors can cause your kids to react differently, the bottom line for you, is to remind them that you aren’t going anywhere.

Fear of abandonment is usually the main reason kids are uncomfortable with their parents dating after a divorce. Their family has already been shaken up quite a bit. You dating opens the door to it changing again. Reassuring them not only with words, but also your actions is integral in helping your children make this new adjustment in their lives.

Here are a few actions to take:

  • Especially in the beginning, if it’s possible, try to date during times when the kids are visiting their other parent so you don’t take time away from them.
  • Don’t bring your date to the house to meet the kids
  • Be up front with them if they ask – don’t lie to them!
  • Continue to focus on your kids. Don’t spend all your waking moments talking about the person you’re dating to your kids or friends within earshot of the kids.

Again, the idea is to not take a big focus off the kids and on this person you’re dating. That’s when your children are more likely to feel insecure and resistant to the idea of you dating.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *