Most problems begin with unrealistic expectations on both parts. This mostly happens to people who married young or don’t have much experience when it comes to relationships. When you have unrealistic view of each other, it can lead to frustration,anger and disappointments. Perhaps your problem in your marriage is because of the unrealistic expectations you have with your partner in your relationship.
Hollywood always makes these impossible notions about romance. This is what they sell after all. Wouldn’t it be simply wonderful if all marriages were as perfect and wonderful as it is in the media? Perhaps you fall under the category of women that expect their husband to leave a trail of roses leading to the bedroom, where there are 100 candles and 5 dozen petals worth of roses are on the bed. Be honest, how realistic is this?
When you create this unrealistic expectation in your marriage, it will cause problems in your marriage. The truth is reality is different. This doesn’t mean romance ends once your married, but it won’t be as glamorous as you hope for like in the movies.
Putting Your Partner On a Pedestal
It can be devastating to wake up one morning and realize that the person your married to is not as perfect as you thought they were. People who get married without really getting to know each other can expect to have problems in their marriage. Seeing your spouse for who they truly are may be a little jarring if you had high expectations before getting married.
What happens normally is that people only show their good side at the beginning of the relationship and then they hide their faults for a long time. In order to avoid problems like this what you can do is that you take the relationship slow and do not put your significant other on a pedestal. It’s unrealistic and unfair to put your spouse on a pedestal,when they themselves are humans too!
Expecting A Fairy Tale
Fairy tales are only great for kids but you have to recognize that they are nothing but fantasies. Even though Cinderella and Prince Charming married happily in the castle at the end of the story, we don’t get to see what happens inside after a few years of being married together. For all we knew, Cinderella could have shattered her glass slipper when she threw it at Prince Charming for coming home late and drunk.
A perfect marriage does not exist and one who strives for one is only going to crash and burn down the road. The reality of it is that marriage take hard work and love won’t cultivate on it’s own. You have to take action every day to cultivate your marriage as well as learn to grow together. You may not always get along with your spouse and may disagree on many things. It’s okay though as long as the two of you recognize, respect and appreciate each other’s differences. Once you accept this, your marriage will be as peaceful as the sea after a raging storm.
Don’t ever lose hope when you have conflicts in your marriage. What you can do is change your expectations with your spouse. Yes, marriage is hard. Marriage won’t be easy but learning how to grow with someone you commit yourself to is what marriage is all about. If couples change their expectations and made it more aligned with reality, less problems in their marriage will occur. If you don’t do this then it is time that you reevaluate your perspective.
Remember that all problems can be overcome when the two of you put fixing your marriage on the top of your priority list.