Divorce Help – Getting Your Ex Spouse to Change Their Ways

Divorce is hard enough to deal with in itself – it’s even worse if your spouse continues to be ‘challenging’ even after you have signed the papers. He or she may be giving you problems when it comes to seeing your children, getting child support payments or other things you have to cooperate on. Thankfully, there are some different things you can try in order to get your spouse to shape up. This article discusses divorce help and getting your ex spouse to change their ways.


Speak to Your Spouse


You may have tried this already, but it shouldn’t be neglected. When your ex spouse is being difficult about one thing or another, take the time to tell them how you really feel. Be polite and use words like ‘I feel,’ so that you are not accusing your ex spouse or attacking them. If they are giving you a hard time about child support, you might say, “I feel very upset that you are going to be late again with the child support payment. I feel insecure because it’s getting hard to rely on you paying the payment on the specified date.” This lets your spouse know how you feel without any sort of attack – which will keep your spouse from getting hostile and defensive. 


Suggest Family Counseling


If you have children with your ex spouse, one of the ways you can get him or her to change their ways is to suggest family counseling. This can give your entire family the opportunity to voice their opinions. Your spouse may see how their behavior and actions affect their children and you – which could make them think about how they are behaving. While it may not completely change your spouse and their behavior, it might significantly change the way they behave toward you and your children.


Sometimes, ex spouses behave in a certain way because they are bitter about the divorce, angry at you or don’t have the closure they need to move on properly. Family counseling can help you determine the cause of their behavior and possibly change it for the better.


Other Suggestions


You also have to realize that sometimes you just can’t change the way people act. If your spouse is doing something that is unfair to you – such as neglecting to pay the child support payments or not dropping off your children – you may need to take action. While you can’t teach your ex spouse respect, you can teach them that they cannot walk all over you by contacting your lawyer or taking your ex spouse to court. Speak to your lawyer and tell them exactly what is going on so you can determine the best possible course of action. You may not be able to get your spouse to behave, but sometimes the legal system can!


By following the suggestions and advice above, you can effectively help your ex spouse change their ways when they are being difficult. Whether they respond to your sincerity or the judge’s sincerity, something is sure to work – even on your difficult ex spouse. Good luck.

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