How Separation Can Save Your Marriage

At that moment when your partner walks out of the front door, you probably feel that your marriage separation is it. That’s it, all over!

However, I’d like you to know that if you prepare well and have the right attitude, then all is not lost. You can save your marriage!

Having a positive attitude & laying some groundwork, staying apart for a predetermined amount of time can provide both of you with the following benefits:

  • a critical look on the very reasons you fell in love with your partner in the first place,
  • help remind you that you simply feel more content and satisfied whenever you’re with each other and
  • help you keep in mind the good times without having to be reminded of the every-day difficult issues.

To ensure that a marriage separation (or even a trial separation) is to be effective, both of you must be absolutely clear concerning its desired goals. These must be clear to both of you.

Quite simply, both of you must go over exactly what this entails and also what requirements you want to put on each other throughout the separation period. Additionally you have to be clear in what you wish to accomplish from this separation.

Is this a trial, basically providing one or the both of you some space and time for you to sit and think, or is this a way of penalizing one other?

Is this separation leading up to divorce proceedings, or could it be a chance to allow the heart to grow fonder? You have to be certain about what this is and the way you both are prepared to attempt it. Without clear conversation between the pair of you and set objectives, a separation will certainly fall short.

You need to able to discuss the problems surrounding a short-term separation. You might want an official or written understanding for you both to refer to.

Also, you will need to consider the following:

  • what objectives you expect to accomplish or concerns you need to think about
  • also the way you are likely to achieve these objectives
  • exactly how frequently you will keep in touch with each other
  • as well as what expectations you will put on one another concerning dating others, sex, etc. and
  • the way you are likely to keep track of whether or not you’re making progress in repairing your relationship.

In case you are very much preoccupied with the thought of leaving the relationship, bear in mind that this is no small matter! It is a major warning, and definitely a period when a trial separation should be taken into consideration.

However let’s consider the reason why you’re so preoccupied with leaving.

  • Do you see leaving the relationship as being less complicated than actually working through the issues?
  • Could it be a feeling of absolute weariness at an apparently never-ending period of aggravation and disappointment?
  • If that’s the case, exactly what measures have you come up with to help relieve this feeling?
  • Is an outside point of view (counselling) beneficial in beating these unresolved difficulties?

Go ahead and make this checklist. Consider all of the ways your daily life will probably change if you were single once more. After that, break them down into advantages and disadvantages. Will you be truly better off or could your marriage be worth fighting for?

Will spending some time away from each other resolve those problems? Exactly how can it bring you nearer as a husband and wife?

All these are essential things to consider when you ask yourself “how can I save my marriage?”

You may not love your partner’s actions and behaviours at this moment but you can still love them for who they are. That’s a huge difference in attitude!

Unquestionably if you’re able to discover your relationship as a result then there’s hope for both of you. It’s when either of you (or both of you) feel absolutely nothing that the relationship is in significant trouble!

But keep in mind, a trial separation is really a considerable, last chance effort to influence change in a marriage. It’s not to be considered casually. However a separation can easily remind you of the happy times and bring you back together with your husband or wife. Also, it can bring about a renewed dedication to mend the problems and produce a much better life with each other.

On the other hand, it may also – as well as perhaps more easily – reveal to you that a divorce is the better approach to consider.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *