When your marriage that you thought would last forever is disintegrating right before your very eyes you become desperate for answers, but you don’ t know where to turn. So in frustration and anger you shout out “I need help to fix my marriage now!” If you can identify with this problem, then you need to stop what you are doing, take a deep breath and listen!
I too was in a similar situation a couple of years back and was desperate for a way to save my marriage from certain divorce. I was struggling to think, let alone think straight. So I embarked upon a series of foolhardy strategies to try to get my wife back. These included:
1) giving in to my wife’s wishes and demands, even though this wasn’ t what I wanted
2) trying to get my wife to accept full responsibility and admit where they went wrong
and the best one of all,
3) begging my wife to take me back
The only thing that these strategies succeeded in doing was to drive my wife further away from me!
I was frantically looking for answers and it wasn’ t until I realised that emotional actions were getting me nowhere fast, that I understood the need to try another alternative if I was going to save my marriage from divorce. I had learned that every negative action on my part resulted in a negative reaction from my wife. I desperately needed to turn the situation around in order to make sure that everything I did or said resulted in a positive reaction from her, however hard this was going to be, since I was determined to fight for my marriage. I decided to try a different approach in the form of rational thinking.
I focused on remaining calm in situations where previously I would have got stressed and angry. I took time to back away from conflict until I had thought things through and was able to act in a positive, calm manner. I stopped laying the blame at my wife’s feet and instead started to work on solving issues together, just taking things one step at a time, until I had built up some trust with my wife.
Slowly but surely my relationship started to turn the corner. It is now two years on and my marriage is even stronger than it ever was, and more importantly, I have my wife back!