Love Stoppers – Cannot Trust Men

Love Stoppers are limiting beliefs that keep you from finding and keeping love. They are the viruses that infect your mind, making all of your positive affirmations ineffective until you get serious and make the decision to get rid of them.

If you are a woman who has been hurt in past relationships, you may tell yourself that you cannot trust men. You may even announce to everyone you know that you “do not trust anyone.” You tell yourself that trust leads to heartache because men take advantage of you. So the way you cope with this is to lock your heart away behind steel bars and refuse to let anyone close to you.

What may be closer to the truth is this: you trust too easily. Which of these statements ring true for you and how you have acted in relationships?

  1. I fall in love very quickly
  2. When I am attracted to a man, I let him know it right away
  3. When a man shows interest in me, I tell him all about me before I know him very well
  4. I move from dating into a relationship pretty quickly, maybe within a few weeks (or a month) of meeting a man
  5. Men tend to take advantage of me because I give too much
  6. When I am in love I give my man all of my attention and time
  7. I usually believe that this man will be different and I end up getting hurt anyway
  8. I am a pretty good judge of character
  9. I go out of my way to help people
  10. I get hurt when I help people because they take advantage of me

When you have been hurt and are vulnerable, you may still believe in your heart that if the right one comes along, it will be different. The problem is that you are still doing the same things that got you heart in the first place. This is why you believe that you cannot trust men. Your belief is misplaced.

The truth is that you cannot trust anyone right away. Trust is earned over time. You are a trusting person, which is a good quality, but since you trust too quickly and too soon, you are repeating a pattern that keeps getting you hurt. If you want to change this pattern and allow people to earn your trust, here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Slow down. There is no rush to get into a relationship. Allow yourself to enjoy getting to know the man you are interested in
  2. Meet him for short dates over coffee, no more than 30 minutes
  3. Let him pursue you
  4. Read The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider to help you set boundaries when it comes to men and dating
  5. Learn as much as you can about yourself, working on improving your boundaries and allowing a man to earn your trust before you give it

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