When you break up with someone it can completely shatter your world, your whole life is turned upside down. Eventually you have to start thinking about going out and socialising again. Socialising when you’re single can be quite different to socialising when you’re in a couple. For me it was a really big worry when I split with my partner of 7 years, everything had changed since the last time I was single, mainly the fact that all of my friends were now in long term relationships and I had no one to go out with. I’m only thirty years old but even in those 7 years of being in a couple the whole dating game had changed.
Whereas before in my early twenties after a relationship break up, your friends would just say don’t worry about it, forget about them and let’s go out and party, you would never have a shortage of things to do and your friends were always out and about. We would go out clubbing or to some bars; it would be very easy to meet people.
Things have since changed, my friends no longer go out as much as they are all in couples and like to do couple things (as we all do in that situation), like quiet drinks round each other’s houses and nice meals and very occasionally a night out. That’s all lovely when you have a partner and it’s always nice to socialise with your mates, but being single you want the opportunity to meet other people outside your immediate circle of friends and that’s pretty difficult if you’re hanging around with couples all the time.
Even though my profession is heavily internet involved I never tried dating websites and didn’t really fancy it, don’t get me wrong a few of my friends have met their partners on their and they swear by it. But for me I like traditional communication in the sense of meeting people face to face, it’s more daunting for some but I find it much more fun.
So I found myself quickly adapting to the situation and you end up going out with other single people from work or acquaintances that you may not always think to socialise with, not just because they are single (well sometimes) but because they are in the same situation as you and their lifestyle is similar to yours.
I would advise not to turn down any social opportunity, embrace them all, the random nights are always the best and you never know where you will end up or who you might meet, the sense of freedom is amazing. I quickly found that I loved this new lifestyle, I was living alone at the time after the break up and I learned a lot about myself in that time. I did not have any ties or commitments (apart from my cat) and could come and go when I pleased, it was a very cool time in my life and I enjoyed it immensely.
It’s strange what you worry about after a break up but for me this felt like a very big thing at the time, how I would cope living alone and going out again and socialising. But these worries quickly dissipate as you get out there partying.
I wrote this article for others in the same situation that I was in, those worried about getting out there and socialising and being in the single lifestyle again, it is scary and it is daunting. However I absolutely loved it again, it was different from my early twenties but in a better way, this time I had more confidence in myself to meet people and certainly had more money to do things than I did back then.
A year or so later and I have met someone who I am very happy with, I met her in a nightclub and we have so much in common it’s scary. Especially as she is not originally from this country, but traditional dating is still alive and well and fun.
If you are in this situation instead of like me initially looking at the negatives which is very natural to do, try to look at the positives there are lots, and the sooner you do this the quicker you will embrace your new lifestyle after your break up.
Have fun and stay safe!!