Do you know what can be the difference between a “good girl” and a “bad girl”? This is a topic that captures my interests and after posing this question to a lot of men and women I am quite surprised at the wide range of opinions I get and how strongly some people fell about this issue.
You may not believe so but the truth is in most cases there is no difference between a “good girl” and a “bad girl”. I will explain to you why I believe so and I will also share with you why and how some shy and sexually reserved women can in an instant turn into passionate, sex-obsessed, wild girls and I will conclude by sharing with you some of the secrets that you can do to help her to be less inhibited in bed.
Let me explain my point with an example that is familiar to almost every guy. There was this boy who was very much in love with a beautiful and “good girl”. Because she was a “good girl” the boy thought he needed to go slow by starting to win her trust as a friend before trying to do anything sexual that could scare her away.
With this thinking he did many nice and thoughtful things for her and treating her with nice dinners and movies and developing into a very sweet friendship. True to her “good girl” nature, during these months, when she dated other guys, she often told him afterwards that the guys were losers and she never wanted to go out for a second date with them. However, the guy did not get anywhere with her sexually either.
When he made efforts in that direction, she confided in him that her last boyfriend had cheated on her. This caused her to be uncomfortable with sex and she just did not want to get sexually involved with any guys for the time being. The boy was quite confident sexually that if he persisted long enough, at some point in time he would win her over in the end because tat kind of thing often happens in the movies.
What he did not realize was that everything he did was exactly the wrong way to build sexual chemistry with a woman. Then one day something unexpected happened. While they were out at a popular night spot, some guys came over and started talking to them. The good girl even flirted with one of the guys right in front of him. He could not believe that the girl whom he perceived as good would like this jerk. When she was away for a while, the jerk told him that his girl had real nice buttocks that he felt like pinching it. When he told the girl about the remarks about her body she seemed quite pleased.
He was quite taken aback because to him she was a good girl who was not supposed to like men who think of her sexually. The flirtatious guy started buying her shots of liquor hoping to get her drunk and he cautioned the girl about this. But she did not appreciate this and even felt that the boy was irritating. At some point in time, the jerk suggested to the girl that they should go somewhere else; she started trying to get rid of the boy. The boy finally left feeling upset and hurt, still unable to figure out what actually went wrong. In his mind were questions like – “How could this have happened?” and “Was she actually a bad girl disguising as a good girl?”
You may have heard of similar stories or may have experienced this yourself. When having sex with her, she would not want to try anything slightly adventurous, she wanted to turn off the lights, she would not allow any oral sex or she was silent throughout the whole thing and never had any orgasms. It is after you split up with her that you found out that she has changed into a wild sex-kitten with her new boyfriend.
These stories probably make you feel disgusted because they remind you of something very real that almost every guy at times ever experiences. Some guys reacted very badly to this and lost faith in other women for the rest of their lives. They end up feeling women are phony and most of them are secretly whores.
But to develop such thinking is harmful and is not going to help men either. The reality is like men, most women are far too complex to be categorized as good or bad. People change and evolve. We behave differently under different circumstances. We tend to act in a different way to what we think of ourselves.
Those who understand this know that the idea of “self” or “personality” is very complex and this is even more complicated when comes to sex. Though you can control what you do but when comes to sex, it can be impossible to control what you think or how you feel.
That is why trying to label women into good or bad has no basis in reality. In fact, lurking inside the bodies of most women are both the elements of “good girl” and “bad girl” with either one of them being more dominant at different circumstances.
Even for a woman with very high moral standards, there are at certain times in her life she is less restraint in her sexual behavior. This behavior shift can even happen within a day. At night, she may behave like a wild beast that has been let loose and in the following morning she reverts back to her “normal” self. This usually tends to happen only when she meets the man whom she can feel sexually connects with at the particular moment.
The men who can achieve this tend to display a few important behaviors that can bring out the sexually open and adventurous side of women. The first one that every guy needs to learn is that women synchronize with your level of sexual comfort. That means if you are secretly shy, insecure or timid about your sexuality or sexual ability, she will feel the same way. It will be much harder for her to open to you or to really express her animal desires, because she will be feeling shy and ashamed of her sexuality when you are around.
On the other hand, if you are comfortable and confident with your sexuality or sexual ability and you know what you want her to do sexually without feeling embarrassed, she will then fell equally comfortable to show the sexually wild part of herself.
There are few things you can do to make her comfortable enough to let go sexually and they are as follows:
(1) Be very open in an unapologetic manner about your sexual desires
(2) The ability to enjoy the pleasure from her body without shame or embarrassment
(3) Touch her in a confident way
(4) Be totally receptive about her sexuality so that she can open up to you easily without the fear of being judged negatively
(5) Have good understanding about female sexual response so that you can be confident enough to know exactly what you can do to give her an orgasm and be comfortable about the whole process
(6) If you have any performance anxiety issues, deal with them immediately
(7) Never act needy. Never let her get this feeling that your sexual ego is at stake. Getting her to open up to you sexually should not be linked to what you need to feel good about yourself sexually
The bottom-line is in order to get a woman to be very comfortable in opening up to you sexually she must first have trust in a man. Trust in this case is about a woman trusting a man to know what he is doing sexually. It is also about trusting that the man will not be judgmental about her sexual desires which can include the desires she may not totally feel comfortable with herself. She wants a guy who knows how to push the psychological buttons in her mind to generate the feeling of trust. She sexually desires a man who knows how to send a clear message to her, through his body, gestures, actions and words that he will not judge her for her desires because he is both totally comfortable with his and her sexuality.