Divorce impacts many people in our society, and it is a large life transition that should be handled with sensitivity and understanding as to how traumatic it can be. You are changing your life in a large number of aspects – from your living arrangements to your time with your kids, to finances and intimacy. You are changing your ideal, your view of what you expected your life to look like. While this can be a difficult and overwhelming time, it is also an opportunity for great growth and development of you as an individual, and can push you to truly evaluate what you want out of life. Here are the last 3 of 6 steps for starting over from divorce positively:
1. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional assistance. If your feelings are becoming overwhelming, and you are having trouble getting through day to day, don’t be afraid to seek professional help from a counselor or therapist who can give you unbiased, professional feedback. If you are feeling like you lack clarity about the future and where you want to go, you may want to work with a coach to help you identify your priorities and create the steps to make your goals a reality.
2. Release negative thoughts. If anger or negativity is holding you back, first allow yourself to feel the negative emotions full force. Imagine the image that angers or upsets you. Then, make a conscious decision to release this anger and free yourself from carrying around a burden that impacts you emotionally and physically. If you are angry at a person, allow for the possibility that he or she did the best they could with whatever tools they have to work with and survive with. Some people’s survival mechanisms cause harm to others, but it may be the best they know how to do. Know that you are exactly where you are meant to be, right now, at this very moment. Imagine releasing the person you hold anger towards, and any negative thoughts, into the universe. You are no longer responsible for them or the outcomes of those people or concepts – enjoy the liberation. Begin to envision all the benefits that could come out of your experience.
3. Begin fantasizing and daydreaming about what you want. Do this in full sensory detail, imagining what it will feel, taste, smell, look, and sound like to achieve those goals. The more you do this, the more you will find motivation and energy to make these goals happen and the more they will naturally seem to be attracted into your life.